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6 Completely Unrealistic Features for a Universal Remote

With all the electronic devices and controllable features in the modern home, the universal remote is becoming more of a necessity than a luxury.

A.V.E. in Wisconsin Rapids proudly offers amazingly versatile universal remote controls that tie your entire home entertainment experience together. They are easy to use, surprisingly affordable, and cut down on clutter. But they can’t do everything.

Here are six features that would be nice, but aren’t quite realistic … yet.

1. Put Your Annoying Coworker on Mute

Oh yes, please Judy, tell me all about your dog’s digestive problems and how you spent the entire weekend cleaning up. Everyone is also quite interested in what happened on The Real Housewives of Hoboken last night. And, when you aren’t talking, could you sigh a little louder every five minutes? Thanks!

We’re very sorry, but the mute button on your universal remote will not allow you to silence your coworker, Judy, in the cubicle next to you. Sadly, it does not work on bosses, angry spouses, whiny kids, or mothers-in-law either.

2. Fast Forward Through Boring Meetings

Sitting in a dimly lit conference room, you stare at a whiteboard full of somebody’s unreadable penmanship trying to remember what this meeting was about. But all you can think of is your extremely full bladder.

Want to make the workday fly by? Wish you could skip over the part of that three-hour meeting that has absolutely nothing to do with you?

Too bad. Universal remote technology is unable to help in this case.

3. Give You Free Mulligans on the Golf Course

You’re at the 4th tee and your drive slices its way on to the state highway next to the golf course. It bounces a few times before smacking right into the windshield of some CEO’s Jaguar.

The car screeches to a halt and the irate driver marches straight for you while your golfing buddies yuck it up behind you.

At times like this, it would be nice if a universal remote would let you rewind life and take a Mulligan. If you had another shot, you’d remember to keep your head down and your elbow straight. At least you made it past the ladies’ tee this time.

4. Provide Info on Real Life Situations

That Info button on a universal remote control can be quite handy. Wondering what the name of that movie is, what’s coming on next, or what song is playing? Hit the Info button and the answer is revealed!

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could hit the Info button on your remote and it reminded you of your anniversary, gave you the answer to Final Jeopardy, or told you the name of that guy at the gym you’ve been calling buddy for the past six months?

It would be nice. But this isn’t an Adam Sandler movie. This is real life.

5. Stay Out of the Couch Cushions

The world’s most brilliant innovators have been trying for decades to develop a couch-proof remote. However, this has proven to be just as difficult as finding a cure for male pattern baldness. In fact, it may be entirely impossible.

Maybe your grandchildren will live in a world where they won’t have to dig in between the cushions searching blindly among the stale Cheetos and missing socks. For now, you’ll just have to endure this hardship along with the rest of us.

6. Control the Actual Universe

False advertising? What do you mean?

No smart-aleck. A universal remote does not let you control the solar system, anything in the Milky Way Galaxy, or beyond.

We’re not sure if you’d use something like that to be a hero and zap an asteroid heading for Earth, or if you’d use it to become the leader of some sort of evil galactic empire.

Quite frankly, someone like you probably shouldn’t have that kind of control. Stick to controlling your television and surround sound for now.

But Here’s What Our Universal Remote Can Do!

A universal remote from A.V.E. may not be able to solve all the annoying problems in your life, but it can provide many convenient benefits that make life at home more enjoyable.

You can stop using five different remotes every time you want to watch a movie. When there’s only one universal remote for all your audio and video needs, you’ll be cutting back on clutter.

While you can’t control the volume of the real world, you can control the audio throughout your entire home. Adjust the levels in every room all at once, or turn things up in the family room and tone it down in the kitchen.

At some point, the couch will swallow up your remote or you’ll simply misplace it (Hint: Check the fridge). But you won’t be lost when your universal remote from A.V.E. gets lost. That’s because you can turn your smartphone or tablet into a universal remote using a free app for iOS and Android mobile devices. Plus, a feature on our remote keeps it from draining the battery if it gets stuck in the furniture while the pressure from your bum pushes a button.

You can also get multiple remotes so you can keep them in different areas of the house where you want total control.

Keep in mind, simplifying all the audio visual gadgets in your home isn’t all that simple. This is not a DIY project! Many have tried and failed to program their own universal remote, eventually going back to using more than one. But that’s why A.V.E. exists.

We offer professional installation and setup for home entertainment and automation. Our audio and video experts will leave your home a better place and leave you a happier person. Plus, we’ll keep you satisfied with excellent customer service from a locally based business.

Ready to take control? Call us at 715.423.4800 to get the ball rolling.